September 23, 2015 by Abby and Alex Rodriguez
I’m reading a book that was recommended to me called Hannah’s Hope by a lady named Jennifer Saake. Started it yesterday and I am already 5 chapters in and have never felt so understood!
Can I be honest? When I first started learning how to walk with Jesus, the books that were always recommended to me or given to me were all books by men or women who had already passed into eternity. “Old Dead Guys” as we affectionately refer to them as. The idea behind reading the men and women of old is that if their books are still being circulated and still very much relevant then they stood the test of time and TRUTH stands the test of time. Make sense? And really, it has always been fascination to me to read how others walked with Jesus in such vastly different times. Almost nostalgic. I don’t mind reading books of men and women that are still with us, one of my favorite books to read are by Timothy Keller. But I certainly don’t gravitate towards the latest Christian best-seller (again, not knocking them), but just prefer to hang out with Mr. Lewis or my favorite, Catherine Marshall or E. Stanley Jones and recently Charles Spurgeon. Just ordered The Complete Father Brown series by G.K. Chesterton, a fictional work about a priest who is a detective! You get what I mean. So, back to the honesty, when a book that is recommended to me doesn’t fit in with my old, musty covers, I usually put on my skeptical hat and assume it’s another cheese ball, fluffy book (eeek, sorry!).
I don’t even know who recommended Hannah’s Hope to me. Probably the adoption agency or Instagram (#infertility). At this point in our journey, we’ll take all the help we can get, putting all skepticism aside. The book is entitled Hannah’s Hope: Seeking God’s Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss. Ding, ding, ding! Ordered it and stalked the delivery status on the daily. Yesterday, ran to the mailbox only to find that Alex had stolen my mail key. Called him and politely demanded that he come home and check the mail, my book had arrived!
I don’t really know where I am going with this, I’ll just get to the quote that has brought me the most understanding and peace thus far (and to give you an idea of how awesome this book is):
Didn’t God owe us something here? Surprisingly, the answer was, and is, no. God does not owe me anything: not a baby, not even an explanation of His choice. As Hannah endured years of social inferiority as a barren wife, she had no way to know that God’s ultimate plan was to bless her with a special son whom He would use to lead His people. To look at my current circumstances and accuse God of making a mistake would be like trying to see a finished picture in a single piece of a complex puzzle. The blurs of color are senseless on their own, but when my piece is placed with the rest, the entire beautiful masterpiece is pulled together. God sees the big picture from beginning to end. I can only see my little piece right now. (page 37)
God does in fact owe me nothing. As hard and confusing this may be at times (all times), it doesn’t change who God is to me (ever). I struggle to see outside of my own reality, but God sees the whole. Timothy Keller puts it this way:
God always gives us what we would have asked for if we would have asked with an infinite perspective.
God doesn’t need my help (suggestions, demands, thoughts, etc.) in figuring out what to do with my life. For now, I will be responsible to what He has given us and that is the lives of over 15,000 students on the campus of New Mexico State University. The best I can do right now is to walk through this season well.
Walking through this (I’m so sorry, I’m here to help)? Have a friend or family member that is? Or heck! just want a better understanding of the heartache of infertility, miscarriage or adoption loss? Order this book as soon as possible. (this blog post is not sponsored by Hannah’s Hope, haha)
Thanks for stopping by and walking this journey with us, our feet are tired but your prayers, encouragement and support have kept us going. We’ve only just begun.