Adoption .

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August 13, 2015 by Abby and Alex Rodriguez

Hello!  We’re still alive, although it may not appear so, and doing great!  Can’t say enough about our new home, New Mexico.  We absolutely adore it here and ministry, although it has it’s ups and downs (plenty of them), has been the greatest thing we’ve ever done and look forward to many more blessed years.  We’re heading into year three of ministry on the NMSU campus (can you believe it?!).  We finished the last school year with 85+ students involved and we are starting year three with 23 SOLID small group leaders.  We are aiming to hit 130 students by Christmas, wild!  We’ve added another dog to our lives.  A black lab named Scout and we are obsessed with her (although she consumed an entire roll of toilet paper today).  Think that about does it.  Well, not even close, but that’ll have to do.

I am CLEARLY not a great blogger, let alone writer (feel like every amateur blogger has to admit that at least once) but I busted out of retirement because of, well adoption, and I know I will want/need a place to word vomit (sorry in advance), look back on the Lord’s provision, document the various events, share our inevitable grief and disappointment but most of all perhaps this could be a resource for other women who find themselves in the same disheartening season. If you happened to stumble upon this, welcome to this crazy train, I’m going to be all over the place (as you can probably already tell)!  Let’s start from the beginning.

Infertility Timeline:

January 2012 – Off birth control and were “trying”

May 2012 – First doctor appointment concerning infertility.  Only 5 months of trying, very premature, but in my heart I knew something was wrong and we were moving to New Mexico that July, so I wanted to see someone familiar to me.  We talked about basal body temping and other stuff but he basically couldn’t do anything for me since technically you aren’t classified as infertile till you have been unsuccessful for a year, or at least that’s what he told me.

January 2014 – Seen again for infertility in New Mexico. Blood tests all came back stellar, ultrasounds looked great.  Diagnosed with “unexplained infertility”.

April 2014 – First round of Clomid. Unsuccessful.

June 2014 – Second round of Clomid. Unsuccessful.

August 2014 – Third round of Clomid. Unsuccessful.

October 2014 – Fourth round of Clomid. Success! No conception.

November 2014 – Fifth round of Clomid. Success! No conception.

February 2015 – Sixth and final round of Clomid + Estradiol.  Unsuccessful.

March 2015 – We decided to take a break. Focusing entirely on my health and our marriage.  Detoxing from all of the drugs I had taken and give myself time to mourn.

July 2, 2015 – 30th birthday physical, wahoo! Was advised to see a specialist if we wanted to continue the journey.  Scheduled another ultrasound to maintain baseline results as we moved towards the specialist route.  This was a hard day for me.  It was my 30th birthday and was told that I am not in a place to “take a break” if we wanted to conceive. Not getting any younger.  Hard to hear that my normal OB could do nothing else for me.  Died to the idea that Clomid would work for us, was so hopeful that it would be that “easy”.

July 12-17 – Alex and I attended a Chi Alpha conference in Phoenix, Arizona where the Lord first birthed the idea of adoption in our hearts.  It was very supernatural.  Adoption was an idea that we sometimes talked about but it was very uncomfortable to me.  Alex was surprisingly way more on board with the idea than I was.  While at the conference, the Lord kept speaking to my heart and a peace swept over me.  There is no other way to describe the feeling other than it just felt right.  We were able to sit down with a very sweet couple, Lennon and Christal Noland, and hear their story of how they adopted their daughter.  We left that meeting with such an incredible excitement and hope that we had never experienced before.

July 27 – August 3 – We went home to Texas to be with our families to visit before the school year started.  After the conference, all we could talk about was adoption.  Naturally, we brought the idea up with both set of parents on separate occasions to see how they felt about it.  My parents were, of course, very much on board and shared in our excitement.  Walking one muggy evening to check out the country club with Alex’s parents, we walked and talked adoption.  I could tell Alex’s dad was a bit apprehensive and his mom had a lot of questions but in the end, they too were very supportive and ultimately just want to see us happy.

August 2, 2015 – It was very late, the night before we were to depart back to New Mexico. I was piddling around Facebook, unwilling to go to sleep.  I came across a video on my feed entitled: Infertility Made Them Question God’s Goodness.  I’ve always been a sucker for videos like that, but what made me watch it was the title.  It was so spot on, was curious.  I watched it a total of three times and cried and cried and cried.  Woke up Alex and had him watch it and we cried together.  I’ll never forget, he asked me why I was crying and if they were happy tears or sad tears.  I didn’t know.  I said both!  It was that night that we decided that I no longer wanted to continue with our medical journey but that I wanted to adopt a baby.

August 3, 2015 – On our way home from the airport, I called Adoption Assistance Agency (AAA).  AAA is the only faith-based adoption agency in New Mexico, which happens to be in Albuquerque, a city that is know around the world for late term abortions, ironic.  I was referred to a sweet lady named Colleen. She was so happy to talk with me, very personal and called me by my name.  She did inform me though that they only service ten families at a time and they were booked.  Not only that but they also already had five families on their waiting list AND about thirteen other families on a list they refer to as the unofficial waiting list.  To say I was bummed would be an understatement.  Full on pity mode.  She advised us to seek another agency if we wanted to expedite our process.  I told her we felt most comfortable working with a faith-based organization if we could and she said she would call me back with some referrals.

August 4, 2015 – Colleen called me back and had no leads for me.  Said they were the only Christian organization in New Mexico and we could work out of state but then said that NM has some of the best adoption laws and suggested staying within the state.  In my mind,  I was back at square one.  In the end, I loved how personal AAA was with me and as much as I HATE the idea of having to wait longer for a sweet babe, I had peace that this was the agency we were suppose to work with.  So I finished by saying “put us on that unofficial waiting list! We’re in this for the long haul.”  The sweetest ladies.  Excited to work with them in hopefully the not so distant future.  Actually this weekend, Chi Alpha is going to help move in one of the ladies daughter who will be a freshman at NMSU this year, so cool!  

So that’s it!  That’s where we are, people.  My husband only thinks in sports analogies and as he would say it, “We’re 4th round draft picks!”  and to me that’s a bit generous.  I would have to say we’re more like 12th round, not even close to being picked for the team, but we’re excited and trusting the Lord and His perfect timing.  We’ve NEVER been happier in this pursuit than we are right now.  Medically, there was no guarantee, no hope. But with adoption, at the end of the day I can lay my head down on my pillow and know without a doubt that I will be a mom one day and Alex will be a dad and that gives us hope no matter how long we have to wait.

And to end this, here is a picture of my wild woman. She is insane.

And if you forgot what we looked like, here is an updated picture. You’re welcome.