Adoption .

11

August 13, 2015 by Abby and Alex Rodriguez

Hello!  We’re still alive, although it may not appear so, and doing great!  Can’t say enough about our new home, New Mexico.  We absolutely adore it here and ministry, although it has it’s ups and downs (plenty of them), has been the greatest thing we’ve ever done and look forward to many more blessed years.  We’re heading into year three of ministry on the NMSU campus (can you believe it?!).  We finished the last school year with 85+ students involved and we are starting year three with 23 SOLID small group leaders.  We are aiming to hit 130 students by Christmas, wild!  We’ve added another dog to our lives.  A black lab named Scout and we are obsessed with her (although she consumed an entire roll of toilet paper today).  Think that about does it.  Well, not even close, but that’ll have to do.

I am CLEARLY not a great blogger, let alone writer (feel like every amateur blogger has to admit that at least once) but I busted out of retirement because of, well adoption, and I know I will want/need a place to word vomit (sorry in advance), look back on the Lord’s provision, document the various events, share our inevitable grief and disappointment but most of all perhaps this could be a resource for other women who find themselves in the same disheartening season. If you happened to stumble upon this, welcome to this crazy train, I’m going to be all over the place (as you can probably already tell)!  Let’s start from the beginning.

Infertility Timeline:

January 2012 – Off birth control and were “trying”

May 2012 – First doctor appointment concerning infertility.  Only 5 months of trying, very premature, but in my heart I knew something was wrong and we were moving to New Mexico that July, so I wanted to see someone familiar to me.  We talked about basal body temping and other stuff but he basically couldn’t do anything for me since technically you aren’t classified as infertile till you have been unsuccessful for a year, or at least that’s what he told me.

January 2014 – Seen again for infertility in New Mexico. Blood tests all came back stellar, ultrasounds looked great.  Diagnosed with “unexplained infertility”.

April 2014 – First round of Clomid. Unsuccessful.

June 2014 – Second round of Clomid. Unsuccessful.

August 2014 – Third round of Clomid. Unsuccessful.

October 2014 – Fourth round of Clomid. Success! No conception.

November 2014 – Fifth round of Clomid. Success! No conception.

February 2015 – Sixth and final round of Clomid + Estradiol.  Unsuccessful.

March 2015 – We decided to take a break. Focusing entirely on my health and our marriage.  Detoxing from all of the drugs I had taken and give myself time to mourn.

July 2, 2015 – 30th birthday physical, wahoo! Was advised to see a specialist if we wanted to continue the journey.  Scheduled another ultrasound to maintain baseline results as we moved towards the specialist route.  This was a hard day for me.  It was my 30th birthday and was told that I am not in a place to “take a break” if we wanted to conceive. Not getting any younger.  Hard to hear that my normal OB could do nothing else for me.  Died to the idea that Clomid would work for us, was so hopeful that it would be that “easy”.

July 12-17 – Alex and I attended a Chi Alpha conference in Phoenix, Arizona where the Lord first birthed the idea of adoption in our hearts.  It was very supernatural.  Adoption was an idea that we sometimes talked about but it was very uncomfortable to me.  Alex was surprisingly way more on board with the idea than I was.  While at the conference, the Lord kept speaking to my heart and a peace swept over me.  There is no other way to describe the feeling other than it just felt right.  We were able to sit down with a very sweet couple, Lennon and Christal Noland, and hear their story of how they adopted their daughter.  We left that meeting with such an incredible excitement and hope that we had never experienced before.

July 27 – August 3 – We went home to Texas to be with our families to visit before the school year started.  After the conference, all we could talk about was adoption.  Naturally, we brought the idea up with both set of parents on separate occasions to see how they felt about it.  My parents were, of course, very much on board and shared in our excitement.  Walking one muggy evening to check out the country club with Alex’s parents, we walked and talked adoption.  I could tell Alex’s dad was a bit apprehensive and his mom had a lot of questions but in the end, they too were very supportive and ultimately just want to see us happy.

August 2, 2015 – It was very late, the night before we were to depart back to New Mexico. I was piddling around Facebook, unwilling to go to sleep.  I came across a video on my feed entitled: Infertility Made Them Question God’s Goodness.  I’ve always been a sucker for videos like that, but what made me watch it was the title.  It was so spot on, was curious.  I watched it a total of three times and cried and cried and cried.  Woke up Alex and had him watch it and we cried together.  I’ll never forget, he asked me why I was crying and if they were happy tears or sad tears.  I didn’t know.  I said both!  It was that night that we decided that I no longer wanted to continue with our medical journey but that I wanted to adopt a baby.

August 3, 2015 – On our way home from the airport, I called Adoption Assistance Agency (AAA).  AAA is the only faith-based adoption agency in New Mexico, which happens to be in Albuquerque, a city that is know around the world for late term abortions, ironic.  I was referred to a sweet lady named Colleen. She was so happy to talk with me, very personal and called me by my name.  She did inform me though that they only service ten families at a time and they were booked.  Not only that but they also already had five families on their waiting list AND about thirteen other families on a list they refer to as the unofficial waiting list.  To say I was bummed would be an understatement.  Full on pity mode.  She advised us to seek another agency if we wanted to expedite our process.  I told her we felt most comfortable working with a faith-based organization if we could and she said she would call me back with some referrals.

August 4, 2015 – Colleen called me back and had no leads for me.  Said they were the only Christian organization in New Mexico and we could work out of state but then said that NM has some of the best adoption laws and suggested staying within the state.  In my mind,  I was back at square one.  In the end, I loved how personal AAA was with me and as much as I HATE the idea of having to wait longer for a sweet babe, I had peace that this was the agency we were suppose to work with.  So I finished by saying “put us on that unofficial waiting list! We’re in this for the long haul.”  The sweetest ladies.  Excited to work with them in hopefully the not so distant future.  Actually this weekend, Chi Alpha is going to help move in one of the ladies daughter who will be a freshman at NMSU this year, so cool!  

So that’s it!  That’s where we are, people.  My husband only thinks in sports analogies and as he would say it, “We’re 4th round draft picks!”  and to me that’s a bit generous.  I would have to say we’re more like 12th round, not even close to being picked for the team, but we’re excited and trusting the Lord and His perfect timing.  We’ve NEVER been happier in this pursuit than we are right now.  Medically, there was no guarantee, no hope. But with adoption, at the end of the day I can lay my head down on my pillow and know without a doubt that I will be a mom one day and Alex will be a dad and that gives us hope no matter how long we have to wait.

And to end this, here is a picture of my wild woman. She is insane.

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And if you forgot what we looked like, here is an updated picture. You’re welcome.

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11 thoughts on “Adoption .

  1. Shirley Cross says:

    Hi Abby and Alex,

    I was really touched by your blog, Abby. Rick and I are both adopted and so glad that there were two families that wanted to take us when we were young. Rick was adopted as a baby, and I was 6 years old when I was adopted. I applaud your decision to adopt, and help a child who might be in a very terrible situation.

    I will pray for you and ask GOD to take care of all the details in HIS timing!

    Keep us updated on your progress. We are flying into Lubbock today to see Kayli. We drove her to Lubbock last weekend, & moved her boxes into her new apartment with her two dogs and cat. We had to get back to Sugar Land, so Rick could get a contract done for Chevron. We told Kayli we would fly back today, and help her get her computer, t.v., bike, etc. mounted on her walls, and anything else she might need. Her queen size bed would not go up the stairs of her apartment, so we are purchasing her a full size bed today or tomorrow. Kayli has two part-time jobs. One is as a counselor for Tx Tech students who have alcohol and drug issues. The other one is as a substitute teacher from kindergarten thru 12th grades. She wants to start on her PhD, but the program she wants to take doesn’t start until the fall of 2016, so she can save up her money for school expenses until she can begin her program.

    We wish you and Alex every blessing that GOD has in store for you. Thanks for sharing your blog with us. Kayli wrote a blog as she was hiking the Appalachian Trail in June and July. She got all the way to Maine, and stopped in Washington D.C. and Niagara Falls on the way back home.

    Love you both,

    Shirley

    • Abby and Alex Rodriguez says:

      Gosh, I didn’t realize you were both adopted! How awesome. You guys are such great parents. Kayli is so lucky to have you both. Pray her transition is a smooth one. We have friends that are about to start a Chi Alpha at Tech. Would love to connect her with them when the time comes.

      Thank you so much for the prayers, they keep us going and we will certainly be keeping you updated.

  2. Kent says:

    Hey Friends – been awhile. I was encouraged by your post and wanted to drop you a quick word. My wife and I started to try and conceive back in 2008 and in that entire time we’ve only ever able to do so once (earlier this year – which ended in miscarriage). We’ve run the gamut of fertility treatments and tried 6 times as well with no success (follistim + ovidrel + IUI). And the doctor’s diagnosis is literally “unexplained infertility” (no joke – that’s a thing). It’s hard. We’ve cried a lot. But God is still good and He has increased our faith through it all. And He has blessed us with 2 boys through adoption during that time. My wife and I still struggle with the “why” sometimes, and we probably always will. Sometimes, our best answer is that He wanted us to adopt – that’s the “why”. And, at the end of the day, even though our hearts still desperately long for biological children, we see the blessing of our boys and trust that what God has for us is right. I really just wanted to encourage you both and say that this is an amazing thing you both are choosing to do and God will surely bless your decision. It is hard, and will continue to be hard, but God is good.

    • Abby and Alex Rodriguez says:

      Hey Kent! Just saw your comment, didn’t realize I had to approve all of the messages till now, haha (still new to this whole blogging thing.) Thank you so much for reaching out. Love it when your pictures pop up on my newsfeed, have always been curious about y’alls journey, thanks so much for sharing! Your boys are beautiful.

      Will never understand the “unexplained infertility” diagnosis. I’m so sorry you guys have to walk through this. It’s super painful. Have always wondered too, if after adoption I would still long to have biological children, guess its something that never really goes away and understandable. Appreciate your honestly.

      If I have learned anything through this journey it’s that God is good and he is only capable of doing good things.

      Thanks again for sharing, hope you are doing well!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Hey Abby, it’s been a while. I had no idea yall struggled with infertility. 😦 so so sorry but excited for your journey of adoption. I will be praying. You can always call me if you want to catch up! 713.501.7138

    • Abby and Alex Rodriguez says:

      Hey friend! Thank you for the prayers, this is the most exciting thing Alex and I have ever done. I would love to catch up, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do! Your sweet babe is a doll, excited for y’all.

  4. Kristen says:

    Love you both to pieces! So excited for this!

  5. Heather Allen says:

    Abby, hi! I just read your blog and am so excited for you and Alex. Clint and I will be praying for y’all!

    • Abby and Alex Rodriguez says:

      Hi Mrs. Heather! Thank you for your prayers. We miss you guys! Praying your family is doing well. They are all so precious. Sad I didn’t get the opportunity to teach all of your sweet babes. Thanks again for the prayers, we look forward to keeping the world updated. Tell the kiddos Coach R says hello for me 🙂

  6. Hey y’all! I’m so excited for this journey that you are on and our family will be sending up prayers for this process and for the sweet baby God has for you!!! Having grown up with an aunt and uncle who adopted all 4 of their children, I think this is an incredibly beautiful thing y’all are doing and know that the child God brings into your home will be unbelievably blessed with both of you as parents. We love you guys!!!

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